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Some links I've put up go to mature sites [for older teen audiences, NOT adult audiences! x_x]. The content isn't too extreme or disgusting but you will bump into stuff that will scare you. o.o" These symbols I've made are here to warn you when you hover over the link. If it's unmarked, it's safe. If not...

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Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 12:14 PM
Black Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone.
I hope everyone is having fun today.

Unless you don't want me to spoil your fun, I suggest you stop reading this post.

Right now I'm in a bad mood. I was just crying a while ago.
" Of all days, DID YOU HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED ON CHRISTMAS DAY?!"
My answer: yes.

My depression hasn't really been "cured", so I still experience the blues every once in
a while. Usually for no apparent reason.

I barely feel sad for a reason or two.

But today, I did.

My dad asked me what I want for Christmas yesterday.
"I'll think about it," that was my reply.

Today, he got sort of impatient with me.

...Well, that's what I think.

I sort of gave up and said I didn't want a present and went to my room.
And then I started crying.

" WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? IT'S JUST A FREAKIN' PRESENT."

I cry about the smallest things. It's so stupid, I know.
I force myself to try look on the brighter side.
My conscience tells me to cheer up(it's the stupid voice that always says mean things), sometimes it seems like a agitated person controls the voice.

My conscience is a negative one. And maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm so depressed.

... Heck, what am I saying?!

Ugh, forget that.

I feel I don't deserve anything for Christmas, so I don't want a present.

All you lucky people out there, enjoy your Christmas and New Year's.

Later.

♥, Yuki